As far as weeks go, this one has been hard. Seeing the old object of your affection for the first time, sans relationship, sucks.
Making bad choices to cope with your break up, sucks.
But we're not talking about that.
Too often in my life, I've focused on my past. Past mistakes and past hurts that I let rule my emotions and my relationships. I let them define my worth, but no more!
I mean, people. How does that make any sense? I claim to be this follower of Christ, this NCG (that's nice christian girl, fyi), but I can't even find my value in the only One who matters. Instead I place my value in relationships. Boys.
Let me tell you, friends. Boys are not worth it. They are not worth feeling like crap over, and they are certainly not worth compromising how you view yourself as a child of God.
I repeat: Not worth it!
This may come across as harsh, but I think that's necessary, because as much as I'm putting this out there for everyone to read, I'm really trying to hammer it home for myself.
When I was in The Pit this weekend, I spent some much needed time in Isaiah 43 and the book of Hosea. Isaiah 43 and Hosea are so heavy in redemption. So long had the nation of Israel really stuck it to God, and decided they would pacify themselves with a million other things.
Then, Hosea. I wrote in my journal that I was Gomer* the prostitute that the prophet Hosea was commanded to marry. Gomer ran away from Hosea, and slept with other men, while they were married. She filled her heart with other things.
I'm not saying I'm Gomer in the literal sense, but figuratively I'm all over that. My heart's devotion isn't to Jesus, it's to a guy, and those warm fuzzy feelings that come with it all.
But despite all that, God saved me (us!) just like he did with Israel and with Gomer.
Redemption is so real, friends. God is honestly just waiting for us to get it, and sometimes he uses things like a break-up from some guy you thought you might marry to grab a hold of your heart and remind you He's still here. He might save you from what could have been a disaster.
I'm getting the feeling He did that for me.
*if you're looking to read an amazing book based off the story of Gomer and Hosea, I HIGHLY recommend Redeeming Love, by my girl Francine Rivers*
Amanda, you're so honest and real. I'm so proud of you for sharing your journey so publicly, and more so for wanting more of God and his grace, as you said it, redemption; it's so real and we all need it every day. I love the story of Hosea and Gomer and Reedeming Love brings their story in such a whole new level. My favorite part is definitely the ending, so take heart my dear friend because God is writing your story and He's not finished yet. Love you.
ReplyDelete